2012, I never recalled a year as much as I am reviewing the Twenty-Twelve!
Well, leap years were always unlucky for me. But, this year has been special for many reasons. Be it people, things or the world everything has played a role. It was just 12 months but I lived a lot of life, gathered experiences, important lessons, acquired a few intangible things, and treasured memories.
This year was when I saw dreams and realized them shortly too. I had developed fears and inabilities and also overcame them shortly. The best thing was that I had ample of time, leisure time to ponder, to introspect, to waste in dreaming and to escape into an oblivion most of the time.
This was the year when I took resolutions, failed to abide by the obligations I had set for myself, each time I fell back I got up and made new plans, new resolutions promising to be consistent at least from tomorrow ;). I tried to implement many things as a part of life style but they just don’t seem to fit me or maybe I don’t fit them.
This was the year I was most impatient about life, about future, about people and many other things. First year after college was tough to handle I must admit. It was hard to adjust to the changes happening to every aspect, hard to handle the questions shooting straight on my nose, hard to believe, hard to be positive. But it’s okay, now I overcame this. One line helped me all the way – “Be patient, good things come to those who wait!”
This was the year I learnt to appreciate! I believe it is an art, in fact a great turnover of an attitude in me. Stuck in the race and artificial competition the education system and my parents had pushed me into, I lived the life of all the six years I lost after school. I brought out the beautiful child inside me, tired of pretending to be an adult. I got time to take a number of deep breaths, inhaling some fresh air without being rushed by anything in the world. I got a great space for my senses.
I bought things! My mom was close to me than any other time in my life, maybe she was making up for the six years I was away from home. She bought me a lovely cam and an mp3 <3. I was dreaming for long and bought them at last! 🙂
I made mistakes! Yes, some irreversible and irrevocable mistakes. Everything happens for a reason and for good. The time when I thought I had to live with the painful heavy guilty in my heart I mustered the courage to forgive myself. It was easy to forgive myself but what was difficult was to convince myself that it is okay to make mistakes and absolutely okay to pardon my deeds.
I met people! Went back six years down the lane and got back to people. I was glad to discover that some things never change no matter how many years pass. Even if everything fails in life there a few who will make u believe that there is always hope left for you! I met new people, well.. not new anymore, some real and some known strangers and will have them now for the rest of my life! If I have to thank anything about this year then I should thank god for making them happen to me 🙂
I made choices! I chose people, I chose things. I chose to abandon a few, I kept a few. Whatever I am now, however my life is today I am solely responsible for it. I chose to be like this. I am responsible if I am not happy about anything or lost anything. I cannot blame it on anyone, or on the bad in this world. If good has the right to exist bad also has the equal right to exist in this world. We can always choose!
I chose to believe in materialistic philosophy. I do not know what lies in 2013, I am even scared to predict or dream of anything. The more passive I be the less the pain ill go through. I just hope the goodness of 2012 never fades and stays forever! 🙂
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